Lulls

I've got a big pot of Tortilla Soup on the stove! It smells delicious. Jessie G is watching Dora and playing with play dough. I just walked by her and said, "You look like you need a kiss." She puckered up, received her kiss and continued on! Gavin got to go into the mountains (with his Grandpa) and see Daddy's elk! Jessie was sad saying, "I miss my brother." So we jumped on my bike and headed to Hastings to get a movie, play dough and a gum ball. That combo seems to solve the sister blues! I've got a case of the blues as well. There is no reason for it ...just an inward sort-of lull today. These come and go and there is often no reason for it ...well, besides the usual sways of the world and body. Where Jessie needs a bike ride, movie, play dough and gum ball, I need: a bike ride, delicious meals, painting (or a place to focus,) music and time to be quiet. We're very similar ...it's nice knowing lulls can be somewhat expected and uncomplicated. *Oh yes! FLOWERS = mutual blues breaker! (how could I forget?!)

Prayers and Returns

I feel the need to communicate after being computer-less for a week! I just walked outside to give the birds the last of our bread stash (end pieces and those nearing stale or moldy status.) I love when the little sparrows fly in and chirp chirp! My mom used to ask me if they said, "thank you thank you!" and now I see that they do say that! It's beautiful weather and our backyard has golden leaves -BUT- my sweet peas are still producing multi-colored cheerful blooms!

I started cleaning out the basement while the computer was down. I thought it'd be a huge task but it's turning out to be fun. I just pull one tote at-a-time upstairs, sort it, organize and bring what's not needed to the thrift store. It's not even too difficult to part with some of the kid's clothes. I thought that this process would have me pondering our decision to move forward with two beautiful children rather than having a third. I sort, think about where we've been, as a family, and appreciate where we are ...so appreciate where we are!

I've sent out a couple of prayers this past week. I'm impressed to have found that those prayers, for others, were precisely what I was in need of as well. I teared-up when the first one came around with perfect timing. It was simply a deep breath in the midst of chaos ...exactly what I'd wanted for a drive-through attendant at Starbucks. I thought it was a minor prayer that could make a nice shift for the man and it turns out ...it is quiet a significant prayer when realized personally.

The next prayer was for a close friend who has returned to old habits that were endangering his life, others and his marriage. My prayer was in the form of a letter that I gave a lot of attention to --wanting to make sure I didn't preach but reminded him of how very significant he is to me, to his family and the world he touches. I prayed that he would stop trying to escape to numb places and find the very simple things that bring him happiness and be present there. My computer crashed the day after I wrote that letter and I realized how very submerged I was in another world ...rather than the one that makes a difference HERE. I laughed at how obvious it was that another prayer had gone out and come around to me. Maybe I wouldn't witness the need of the prayer, for another, if I wasn't also in a similar place? All I am certain of is that the universe, God, has heard me and I've recognized several answers and I say "Thank You Thank You!!"

One of my Favorite Days Ever

Summer 2001 and I was living in Bozeman. I was renting a room in Travis, Drew and Chauncey's house. It wasn't like I was living with my boyfriend (now husband) because he was rarely home. He spent the summer working construction 70 miles away. This particular week, he was home. He was helping a friend do stamped concrete work. It was a 95+ degree day and he returned home very ready to hit the river and cool down.

I wouldn't have known, by his personality, that he'd been sweating and working hard in the blazing sun. He was singing and dancing around the house ...grabbing his swim trucks and running downstairs to make sure I was on-board for his outing. Alabama's "I'm in a hurry," started playing and I will love that song forever because it gave a soundtrack to Travis' great energy.

We jumped in his Jeep and drove 30 miles West to the headwaters of the Missouri. I'd never been there before. I had so much fun swimming ...more like gliding on the river's currents as the Jefferson and Madison joined forces. We ran up the Madison and floated along ...then back to the Jefferson and floated along!! I had so missed swimming; Travis introduced me to new currents and relief from a hot day.

We splashed over to a sandbar ...rather, a rockbar right where the rivers came together (so I guess that would be the Missouri!) We sat as currents, and small rocks were swept across our laps from both directions. We picked-up rock after rock, checking them out and tossing them on. Travis began singing, "Leavin' on a Jet Plane," in his deepest voice ...imitating "Bear" from Armageddon!!

I will never forget Travis picking up two good sized rocks and saying, in all fun, "Hey Mom!! Will you put these in your pocket!" It's like I saw my future and I was so completely amused!! He dove into the currents and quickly joined with the full-on Missouri River ...and so did I.

Our kids have asked me, on several occasions, to put large rocks in my purse or pockets ...to bring home. It makes me wonder if Travis remembered doing that as a kid, or if our children just think a lot like him!! I loved that day ...it has a soundtrack and everything!!

The Inspired Yield Inspiration!

I swam and I swam and I swam until my head cleared and my arms loosened and cut through the water properly. The sunshine came through the window and poured down to the bottom of the pool. I loved watching my hands catch the light and glow ...reminding me of swimming in Lake Geneva as a kid. By the time I left the Y, my SELF felt restored ...but it faded again when I reached home. It's back after mowing the lawn, reading a friend's blog and my sister's stories of New York. The inspired yield inspiration and I'm so blessed to have many people to look to when I need a bit extra in my day.

splashing feet

I swam laps when I was pregnant with both Gavin and Jessie G. It was strange how the thought of a white toy box always popped into my thoughts as I swam ...during both pregnancies. Today, I swam laps while Gavin ran beside me. Jessie was in swimming lessons and Gavin was humoring me with his imitation of the strokes I was doing. His growing, little feet marked the end of one lap ...as he sat on the edge spashing. It is amazing when visions are realized. I didn't have a white toy box in that moment ...I had the pure treasure that it represented beside me.

Summer

I just checked the 10 day forecast and it's all sunshine and 70-80 degrees!! Summer may have actually come to stay (for a couple of months!!) Everyone has been writing about playing in the sunshine, on Facebook. I can imagine God smiling, seeing us all savoring the moments of non-gloom after so much gray rain. That is a good thing about weather and health ...when it is restored it is so nice!!

The grass in our yard was 2 feet high when we returned from three weeks in Minnesota. It took several passes, with the lawnmower and weed wacker, to get it groomed and playable again! Another good thing about chaos ...when order is restored ...ahh it's delightful!! Of-course, chaos here and there is refreshing too!!

Our basement also took a hit while we were gone = water on the floors caused me to take inventory of what was in storage. I had to pull out old, old drawings and paintings that were soaked. They are scattered throughout our bedroom, drying ...and reminding me that continuous attention to certain skills DOES make a difference!!

Now the gardens are all weeded and ready for new plants and seeds! I have a white canvas ready for first impressions. And, we have a list of things to improve on the house while the weather is with us!!

Responding

I'm painting, watching Season I of "Prison Break", drinking wine and having some popcorn tonight! I asked Travis for his opinion on my newest rose painting and he said to make it looser. The wine is helping with that!! Loose is my favorite style so I'm happy to go with Trav's advise!

It's foggy, again, outside and the lights are about to go down. Jessie was starving earlier. I grilled hamburgers, made smoothies and was asking if she wanted her burger on a bun ...only to find she was sound asleep on the recliner. There was no waking her!

Travis and Gavin bought lilies and roses for my Mother's Day gift! They are so beautiful. Every time I walk by them, I admire them! I decided to stand and figure out what it was exactly that I was admiring.

In the past, I've been so impressed by roses because of (partially) their long, thorny stems (unless they are my roses in the backyard ...then the stem isn't so long but the support system is there and the scent even more amazing!) supporting an intricate family of ruffled petals. The stem holds it's every effort at it's fingertips. The colors ahhh! and the meeting of the stem and petals, like a star -anchoring, cupping silk folds *I Love Admiring flowers ...especially roses ...especially sweet peas when they are nearby ...and peonies ...petunias and cosmos!! I LOVE flowers.

On our way home from Sandpoint, I told Gavin that Sunday was Mother's Day. He lit up and said, "Can I get you a present?!!" I said, "I'd love that!!" He said, "Maybe FLOWERS!" Like he knew what my favorite surprise would be but it was still a secret! Travis said, "He's got you figured out!!"

This particular bouquet of flowers, sitting beside me, is mostly peach and white; lilies and roses with a couple brighter roses of red and pink to set it off!! I was analyzing it, a moment ago ...trying to figure out why it was affecting me so strongly (and it's not just under the persuasion of wine!) It's the basic hue (peach) set off by the light and then the red!! --with pink to pull it all together! I decided to take in what I was responding to ...rather than just responding and it makes everything more alive!! If I took a moment to figure out what I'm responding to with more of the interactions in my life ...every moment would be more alive. This is what the roses have been hinting at all along.

Drinking wine and talking about roses (and craving chocolate!!) At least I've been mixing it all up with an action, suspense television show on Netflix! Time to respond to this painting with a brush of loose strokes!!