Our Caymen plant is beautiful and healthy, bright green leaves and great posture. It stopped growing and seems content with its current stature. I think it needs a bigger pot to stretch to any new heights.
--My single thought
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Habits
I'm having a glass of wine before bed. This has become a new habit of mine. It seems that red wines no longer give me headaches and I've taken advantage their relaxing effects.
I went to church this past Sunday and several topics surfaced during the service ...mostly during the time of silence. We were praying for forgiveness of our sins and I wondered how I was sinning. The first thing that came to mind was my obsession with my sister's life. Something like 80 % of my thoughts go to my sister’s life and how I can make it perfect for her. Perfect? What makes me think I know what perfect is for her? I knew that since my mind first went to this thought that I was likely focusing my attention in the wrong place. I prayed for help in returning my thoughts to my experiences here and now. I know I've been wasting my energy trying to do God's work in someone else's life when I should just let my sister's life plan unfold as it should without my interference. I know my obsession has been straining our relationship as well. My intensions made her feel that her life wasn't complete when I know she is living a beautiful life already.
I asked for guidance to let go of controlling what was none of my business and start living in a manner that brings about the sort of wonder and awe that I felt in church on Sunday. "May we see the glory of Your Presence among us" was part of a prayer and that is what I'm seeking.
Growing up, church always made me feel rebellious and angry after the service. It didn't strike the right cord but there is something about the interaction in this new church that lifts me up. It points to the glory and not the sin ...even though the sin was what I was contemplating on Sunday. We also remembered those whom have gone before us and I teared-up thinking about all of the meaningful people that are standing beside me in spirit now.
So, I came home and my email account starting freezing up on me. I was so frustrated that I knew it was an unhealthy habit I've formed. How many times do I need to hit the refresh button in a day?? So, I began painting and two paintings shortly after I realized how much energy I was diverting to Hotmail that can be used on creating, experiencing and witnessing the world I'm surrounded by/living in. Can a prayer be answered by a "Sorry for the inconvienience -site under maintenance" announcement?!! I think so.
What is it about announcing something that takes away all of its power for me?? You can bet that if I say I'm going to work-out 30 minutes on the elliptical everyday for 3 months that I won't. But, if I think without an out loud statement, something locks in inside. The thought is the engage button ...action has begun. The announcement is just wasted energy and something I feel I have to live up to for the one I've declared it to. If I've only got myself to quietly prove something to, I'll get going. Maybe other people's reactions take some power away from my focus?? I don't want to PROVE, I want to DO.
I watched "The Secret" a couple of years ago. It's the movie/book/audiotape that tells about the power of vision for your life. It talks about the power of the spoken word and visualizing with dream boards, etc. I've had several things happen that would prove the theory of "The Secret" right and I've reviewed my mindset when I've called these things in. The common factor was that I was calling in something that I knew was do-able, something that would make life more functional and beautiful and there was no greed or real deep down desire ...just "Emmm, that would be nice" sort-of thought. I feel a bit hesitant about WANTING something like success or financial gain even though I know that making a significant impact on the world often has these things in its wake. I think my hesitation holds me back when it comes to allowing my life to be used to demonstrate the glory of God's Presence among us.
I went to church this past Sunday and several topics surfaced during the service ...mostly during the time of silence. We were praying for forgiveness of our sins and I wondered how I was sinning. The first thing that came to mind was my obsession with my sister's life. Something like 80 % of my thoughts go to my sister’s life and how I can make it perfect for her. Perfect? What makes me think I know what perfect is for her? I knew that since my mind first went to this thought that I was likely focusing my attention in the wrong place. I prayed for help in returning my thoughts to my experiences here and now. I know I've been wasting my energy trying to do God's work in someone else's life when I should just let my sister's life plan unfold as it should without my interference. I know my obsession has been straining our relationship as well. My intensions made her feel that her life wasn't complete when I know she is living a beautiful life already.
I asked for guidance to let go of controlling what was none of my business and start living in a manner that brings about the sort of wonder and awe that I felt in church on Sunday. "May we see the glory of Your Presence among us" was part of a prayer and that is what I'm seeking.
Growing up, church always made me feel rebellious and angry after the service. It didn't strike the right cord but there is something about the interaction in this new church that lifts me up. It points to the glory and not the sin ...even though the sin was what I was contemplating on Sunday. We also remembered those whom have gone before us and I teared-up thinking about all of the meaningful people that are standing beside me in spirit now.
So, I came home and my email account starting freezing up on me. I was so frustrated that I knew it was an unhealthy habit I've formed. How many times do I need to hit the refresh button in a day?? So, I began painting and two paintings shortly after I realized how much energy I was diverting to Hotmail that can be used on creating, experiencing and witnessing the world I'm surrounded by/living in. Can a prayer be answered by a "Sorry for the inconvienience -site under maintenance" announcement?!! I think so.
What is it about announcing something that takes away all of its power for me?? You can bet that if I say I'm going to work-out 30 minutes on the elliptical everyday for 3 months that I won't. But, if I think without an out loud statement, something locks in inside. The thought is the engage button ...action has begun. The announcement is just wasted energy and something I feel I have to live up to for the one I've declared it to. If I've only got myself to quietly prove something to, I'll get going. Maybe other people's reactions take some power away from my focus?? I don't want to PROVE, I want to DO.
I watched "The Secret" a couple of years ago. It's the movie/book/audiotape that tells about the power of vision for your life. It talks about the power of the spoken word and visualizing with dream boards, etc. I've had several things happen that would prove the theory of "The Secret" right and I've reviewed my mindset when I've called these things in. The common factor was that I was calling in something that I knew was do-able, something that would make life more functional and beautiful and there was no greed or real deep down desire ...just "Emmm, that would be nice" sort-of thought. I feel a bit hesitant about WANTING something like success or financial gain even though I know that making a significant impact on the world often has these things in its wake. I think my hesitation holds me back when it comes to allowing my life to be used to demonstrate the glory of God's Presence among us.
Friday, October 30, 2009
I've slowed way down on filling up notebooks with stories of daily interactions so I'm giving this a try to see if I can get thoughts down and out of the way!! I like to remove the walls and get back to open spaces where things are so much clearer. I don't take myself seriously but I know certain messages try to get through to me and the only way to really digest them is to be reflective for a time. So, that's what my intesions are here! Just getting started!
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